A Lonely Plea

Creaks on a wooden floor and whispers in the dark.
Cherishing every movement of the night.
No one goes with me but i still will follow you.

You have no one to call, no voice to hold dear.
On through the dusk no fleeting glance.
They have all turned away.

But not me Lord, I pray it not be so.
I want to travel in past the pain of it all.
I kneel down and grasp your hand.
Lead me on, dear Lord, lead me on.

Amen.

Collection of a confessed wimp's prayers

Lord, You set me free from the evil that owned me. You paid the price so that I am Yours. Let me act like i am Yours Almighty, let my heart be devoted to You, because You are my life.

Lord help me to understand what you went through this Easter. Let me know the painful lows and the tears you cried.

For one such as me,
Lord how could you do such a thing?

Let me be like you, self-sacrificing, all-loving, never bitter towards your enemies.

You are my life, You are my all, You are my shelter and all that i look forward to.

Amen

Voice of a Betrayer

Hoarse and spiteful, pained and bitten my voice screams from the desert.
The hate fills in my eyes and my grimace bears all. I don't need what You can give
Because You are just like the rest -I can't compare to You.
The crooked teeth of lies and scorn have spoken.
You took my alibi and my way of life.

I dare not say the words. My Master, my King. I chose another road.
My lips burn as they touch your face. Darkness in contrast with pure light.
Clash against purity. Clash against love.
My desire is more important than You. I know what's best for me.
Stay out of my way -The fowl stench has spoken.
My way. My fate. My death.

I turn towards any escape route i can find, to block the vile tongue inside.
Hunger paws through my heart for the emptiness kills me inside.
I fall to the ground hiding from the cruel lashings i brought upon myself.
But i look up because You are still there. You step up to my mess.
I beg You to turn away, hide from me Lord because I've stuffed up again.
Don't die for me, don't take my pain. I deserve it all.

My God. I am just like Judas, I've betrayed you again.
All the lies and pain you bind up to take upon your back.
This time i can say no words.
"I am He" you speak, and no one can contest.
For your love for me surpasses all my mess.
The pure has spoken, and the journey continues.
And all because of me.

A challenge.

Anyone who wants to follow Me must let Me take control. You can't be at the steering wheel, because that's My place. Embrace your pain -and I will show you how. You can't help yourself. If you sacrifice yourself you will save yourself, that is the way. If you get everything you ever wanted and in the process lose who you are...what good will that do you?
Mark 8:34-7. Mon style.

When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, He was in a battle of the wills. "...Yet not my will, but Thine be done". Self- sacrifice. Laying down your desire to let God take control.

Jesus, enable me to do just that. Let me lie down what i want so i can be freed up to do your will. Take control of my driver's seat 'cause Lord i know I'm going to crash big-time. You know the exact twists and turns and i might just lose the brakes on this one.
Amen.

Watch and Pray!

I slid through the mud onto my knees and my feet gave way to the darkness underneath. The grated cold chilled my flesh and imprinted my elbows with it's laugh. I lifted my chin as my lips trembled and my tears left a stream flowing into the blood. Lord this hurts so much... why does it have to be this way?

Child hold on...be strong. Watch and pray.

I lifted the covers up above my knees and shivered trying to repress the memories. The darkness wafted in and permeated my being like a stench. I lifted up my arms as my face fell forward. Lord this hurts too much...why are you letting this darkness stay?

Child hold on...be strong. In time you will see how all this was meant to be. But for now, watch and pray.

I climbed up to the top of the mountain, and searched every sea trying to see what Your master plan was meant to be. I knew there would be more hard times, i knew i couldnt stay. I am falling asleep and I don't know what tomorrow will be. I lift my hands up to the sky, I raise my eyes to look into grace. Lord this will hurt so much...do i dare trust you with what will be?

Child, keep on, stay strong. Watch and pray.

John 3:16

I have heard those words so many times before. The words seem to drift in but seem to fade away before they reach my heart. I don't want it to be that way, because these words are meant to have power. Jesus, You had that all-consuming passion that led you to that cross. I feel that fiery fervour needs to sink in when I read it. Your Father's love for me, and for everyone else on the planet compelled You to take upon my sin, all that unwanted crap and mess. You and your father must have had an awesome bond that I could never understand, and such a love that I could never fathom. And He sent You. And when you took my sin, my filth, it was to set me free from my sin and bondage. But i had to believe in You, believe in who You are to be free and to fly. And have eternal life -to live forever, to never cease to live.

Oh Jesus please help us to understand what it cost you to set us free. We thank You for what You gave us. You are so awesome and almighty. This coming Easter prepare our hearts and let us turn to You. Amen.

Memoirs of an incoming save

The Cup

The cup that tore shreds in the bottom of Your soul, was the same one that bore the medicine my soul needed most.
Free to throw that cup away, You chose to drink it, even though it was what You dreaded. But it was what i was dying for.
Looking into that cup You saw the evil that would course through Your veins and it was the only cup that would be able to revive myself again.
The cup Your Father held out was not a wine glass toast in honour of You, but it would be the toast that would save me.
Swirls of evil, colours of black fading to grey losing momentum tempting You to turn away. You must have seen my face somewhere and loved me too much to drop the tears of that wine into the mud.