Little girl, little girl...

Pregnancy is such an interesting state, people can fear it, and enjoy it at the same time. I can safely guarantee this is one of the scariest times i've been through and yet to go through, and i can also guarantee myself that all this will be worth it. I always say to myself, "how can this be, i'm so young and i have plans for myself..." and God will reply "I'm always with you, it'll be hard but we'll get through it".

Okay, i'm still a teenager, i have feelings for guys, and i just wish there was someone who just loved me so much and didn't care what people thought of him. But the guys who know this act pretty weird about it. They either casually mention it, or just ignore the issue altogether. I'd love a guy to hold me and protect me through this all. I'm feeling that this won't happen yet, as God wants me to concentrate on me and Him. I type this and look back over the words on the screen, and this perfect guy seems to be God.

I was looking through my journals last night and just looking over how much i've changed from being so self-absorbed to looking to God and just seeking him. We're talking about a period over about 2 or 3 years. It's great to see how God has worked through my life and has shown himself to me. No matter how hopeless of a person i am, God still loves me and is still working in me. So this little girl staring out upon a vast battlefield is taking up her sword.